


Trust

by silverwing33



Series: venom [5]
Category: Marvel, Venom - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 05:56:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16382660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverwing33/pseuds/silverwing33
Summary: Jess talks to Eddie about her past experiences to help him understand why she's reluctant to get into another relationship again.





	Trust

We sat up on the roof of my apartment block and looked out into the city. I always loved it up here, it always felt safe and peaceful. No one came up there except me. And now him.   
I don’t think he understood how much he means to me. He didn’t understand. I don’t let people in. The only person I’ve ever done that with was my brother, and he’s gone now. 

We were quiet. 

“I was 13 when I was diagnosed. My parents acted like it was a huge tragedy like I had died or something. From then on, that's all they saw in me. The little girl they lost. “ I looked away. I hated talking about myself, it was bad enough talking to therapists. But other the years I had gotten used to that. It still felt like I was telling some tragic tale of woe, and of course, the other person then gave some pitying, sympathetic sprew to comfort me. Tell me that i’m still me and how much of a wonderful person i am. It’s expected you see. It’s the social norm. 

Fuck the social norm. 

“I didn’t have any friends growing up, but in my teens, I got involved with some guys. Bad guys who liked the whole manic pixie dream girl thing. I got hurt. And it sent me on a spiral with other bad guys. I…” Fuck. “I...was raped…sometimes…” Eddie turned to me at that, but he didn’t say anything. “It’s weird. Because sometimes I weren’t sure what was happening, and other times I knew...but it wasn’t like in the movies. I didn’t scream or cry… it just….happened. They weren’t mean or horrible like in the movies, they just...did things...even when I said no, even when I asked them to stop and tried to push them away. It was like they couldn’t hear me anymore. The person inside them was gone. I was all alone. And I remember feeling empty inside afterwards. We would lie together, watch tv like nothing happened. I remember feeling...weird inside, but I didn’t know why.”  
He furrowed his brows in confusion. “What do you mean you didn’t know why? You had been raped, Jess.”  
“I know… but that's the weird thing when it's happening you don’t always know it’s happening… you know you’re having sex, and you know that this isn’t what you want and you want them to stop, but they don’t. At no point does your mind say to you: This is rape.   
It just remains quiet till it’s over. And even then it can take a while for your mind to process what has happened.” 

His arm circles around behind me, pulling me into his side. I hadn’t realised but my whole body was hunched up, I relaxed a little in his arms and leaned into the warmth of his body.   
I appreciated his silence.   
“I remember in my early 20s going to the police about one dude who was really violent and rough with me. He used to yell and throw all my shit around whenever the mood caught him. I remember thinking...believing it was all my fault, I caused him to be like that. I frustrated him with my weird behaviour and the things I think sometimes. I had adopted Van Halen back then and he was only a kitten, and he kicked him, hurt him so bad he limped for a week. I felt ashamed to take him to the vet. I hate myself for that!” I shift, feeling uncomfortable at the memory of that day.   
“What happened?” Eddie asks me softly.   
“They filed a report, but I made the mistake of mentioning being schizophrenic. Next thing I know I get interrogated as to whether it actually happened. I was being gaslighted by the police! It was the worst experience! Because…” I start to cry...and it all comes out. “Because... I didn’t know, I doubted everything. I remember going home convinced I had made it up in my head. And it carried on and on. But then my brother walked in one day and saw Jay hitting me with a table lamp. He got me out of there and lodged a complaint with the police about how I was treated when I tried to report it that first time.” I sob, my shoulders shaking as I felt myself relive it all moment by moment.   
“Jesus…” He wraps both arms around me and rocks me gently, “It’s okay Jessie...I'll never let anything like that happen to you. I promise. Especially not with me, alright? You’re safe with me” 

I trust you, those three words run in his head and it clicks a light on. This is what I meant. And at that moment he understood the weight of what I had done by giving him that key. 

As the weeks went by after that night, I started to relax with Eddie more and more. I had finally found someone that I could be myself with, and safely. Someone I could put my trust in. It took quite a while, but we started to refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. He never once pushed, and never once put any pressure on me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with.  
These things that everyone should take for granted, I was starting to learn for myself. 

Despite the expectation and judgement of everything that knew me, I had found myself a healthy relationship with someone. Of course, I always neglected to add that said healthy relationship also comes with alien symbiotes attached. But they don’t need to know everything!


End file.
